This Is SO Much Better Than Sitting In a La-Z-Boy, Cleaning Your Shotgun

Cyber high-fives (or finger snaps?) for this dad’s kick-ass performance. When it comes to striking fear into the hearts of young men, Jesse Parent nails it…with poetry. Let’s face it, the shaved head and tattoo sleeves help a little, too.

Of course this is all satirical, but awesome nonetheless. (No need to search his trash for body parts.)

Parent says in response to some YouTubers who didn’t quite get it, “Honestly, I would never seriously use any of these tactics. It’s over the top and cartoonish for a reason. I will be there for my daughter, but this level of overprotectiveness would be SUPER weird in real life. I just want her to find someone who loves her as much as she loves them.”

And now we love him even more.

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Close: I already like Scout